I was readng my previous blog posts and I realised that I am a happy person for the past one year.....

YES I AM STILL AWAKE, WIDE AWAKE... just cant sleep....


And one of the posts strucked me... It was written in Sept when I suspected that he had lied to me....

Chloe:
i've been very patient with this r.s and i try to put it as simple as it is...i dun wish to add any stress or watso ever..what i want is simple too... trust and honesty

4:55pm Sharin:
same here...

4:55pm Chloe:
if u wanan fool ard or commit on other stuffs, lets me noe.. and i will be out of da game coz Nanny dont want history repeats... im not comparing u with another one
but, somehow i have actually learn hw to protect myself so when things go wrong.. i wld nt want myself to hurt and let go tis r.s.. of u and me has been a wonderful one so far

4:57pm Sharin:
of course I understand

4:59pm Sharin:
I understand, Nanny.. I don't want to hurt you... and I also don't wanna get hurt...

4:59pm Chloe:
like u and Rita, im willing to let go

4:59pm Sharin:
ahhh.. that Rita was the biggest mistake of my life.. seriously... For that I jumped into a relationship with her, and just got to know you... and I was totally wrong about her..

5:00pm Chloe:
no one is right or wrong lah

5:00pm Sharin:
and I knew that you were the right one...

5:00pm Chloe:
if u nv try, how wld u noe.. she is not the one

5:01pm Sharin:
that's why i wanna leave Rita.. even before I go into a relationship with Nanny

5:01pm Chloe:
so son got REGRET for making nanny ur main lady anot Coz Nanny NAGS alot!

5:02pm Sharin:
I just have to... if not, you'll see me looking like a 45 yr old fella, no money and tons of white hair...


Son said I was the right one.... and he will not hurt me...

But? eventually I am still the "wrong one" and he hurt me...

Sigh...

But anyway , after talking to Shundy and Pat rose, I felt much better, esp Pat, he is damn funny lah... He cheered me up quite abit and he told me to give up etc lah, he said dun be an idiot... LOL.. and he even give names to people lol.. i shall not mention it here..

Should I give up? I don't know, part of me still hold on to it... Coz i just love him too much...

I just need more time, more time to figure out....