Guess what, I went to cut off my long hair ...... LOL... yes, initially I wanted to trim only but i am so sick of my old hair style. So my hair dresser, Barbara recommended me a new hair style.... e back of my hair will be short and front is still long..... Well, I was hesitant and I asked her to give me 5 mins to consider. hahaha...

The outcome is nice. I love it alot. SP said its suits me alot! Yeah~

Sigh, actually I always wanted to keep my hair long ... Son used to encourage me to let me hair grow long.... The last time I went to trim my hair was in Nov, also with him...

Anyway, I wanna say Thank You to those who left comments on my chatbox.

I am fine now I guess... Though I know it will take me some time to get over it.

Well, actually there are a few of them asking me why don't fight for it since I love him so much?

My answer is... I ALSO WISH but I know it will never be easy. I've lose my confidence. My past experience with Kenneth had a great impact of me. I lost terribly. So this time round, I rather hide it and wish them all the best. I realize that this relationship of ours is not just US... but his parents as well I guess... Yes, the religion. I guess I never give them the impression that I am willing to accept the religion. And maybe Son doesn't love me as much as he had confessed to me...

In fact, I am going for the beginner's class in March. It's a basic lesson that explains about the religion. Anyway its Free... And I have someone who is more than happy to accompany me... so.. why not?

I am not doing because of him. And I am not going to share with him about it. In fact, we never contact each other. There are times I wanted to call him... Even just to say Hi only but I don't know what would he think....

Anyway I know he's going Bali trip with her soon... It was already planned before we broke up... Sigh....

I guess he has chosen her already. . . She is a Muslim.... it's easier to show to parents...

Why . . . why is religion a hinder to this relationship?

I was sharing with my kaki Shah about it... In fact, his mother is very open about it and she said give me some time to know about the religion. She even asked Shah to guide me slowly, takes no hurry.... How I wish they are Son's parents.... How I wish they are more understanding...

Ok lah, I might as well marry SHAH since he proposed to me before hahahaha....

Madness.... The feeling isn't right.

Letting him go is my choice, though it is a reluctant decision which I've made. There goes my happiness....

And I love him and I am still loving him. Does he still loves me or he just simply get on with his life?

Haiz, a friend asked me why I always kena men like that.... HAHAHA.. fated lah sis... SUAY loh!

But I never regret meeting him in my life... He is so wonderful...At least, we had our best memories ....

If I could turn back time.... I would not want to confess my love for him. I would not want him to hint me that he likes me too... I would prefer to be just friends... At least as friends, things won't happen like now.... Sigh, come to think of it... I missed those times when we were just friends... I missed those times that he tried to hold my hands in the cinema.... I missed those times we went for makan and makan and makan ... hahaha...

He is already part of my life and I am trying to get the pieces of him off my life now... How to?

I missed travelling with him.... We had so much fun......

Good things always don't last.

Is it just a fantasy between us? Is it just a dream?

Does he know he has hurt me so badly? Does he know I love him? Does he know I am changing for him?

SIGH...

Have a blessed weekend peeps...




(p/s: I am lost in the woods...)