Juz came back from a wedding dinner @ My Secret Garden. It was Mark and Karen's wedding and I was surprised that she invited me. I was very touched and she asked me like one month ago.... Actually Wenxin sms-ed last night to ask me attend her wedding dinner on the same day... Apparently I Didnt go coz it was so last minute and I cldnt rush there on time....

Anyway, it's my first time attend such a "Angmo" style wedding and I actually love it very much, simple and nice...

Karen looked gorgeous and I can see the glow on her face, I know that she is happy and I am happy for her too coz after all ups and downs, she has found someone who really treasures her and love her as what she is ... Mark is handsome too heehee..

Son and I chose a bench @ the side and sat down, witnessed thru the solemnization ceremony and as both of them are christians, there are some "MUST DO" stuffs for them to do which I nv encounter b4... Interesting and its very meaningful.

Suddenly, I got the urge of getting married... I nearly tell son ..."I MARRY U, lets get married..." LOL, I always see bride smiling and bride is always the happiest woman on earth.... I wish I can be the woman walking down the aisle, and my man is waiting @ the end of the aisle for me... holding my hands and say I DO together... sharing our lives together... How sweet isn't it...

The food was buffet spread and I didnt enjoy much but the food was nice... Thanks to my wisdom tooth, i cant eat alot.. >.<

We left early and we drove down to Marina South... There is this new place call dunno what Barrage and we sat there for quite a while....

He was thinking of changing career but he dont know where to head to.... Well, he's 32 and I guess he gotta make a decision sooner or later...

And he's celebrating his bdae overseas this year.. not with me but his family, I juz feel that his birthday isnt a very happy occasion for him... He shared with me the problem...Though he didnt factor me in his bdae, I respect him... As long as he is happy, I am fine with it... Now my headache is, what to get for him. He's a practical person, so I need to get something that is useful for him.... mmmmm *cracking my head*

On our way back, we suddenly talked about priorites in our lives... His was 1) Career 2) Family 3) Partner.... Mine is the same just that i put family as the 1st priority. . . We talked about relationship stuffs too... We talked about his ex-es... Especially his recent ex, Sarina... Recently I saw his FB pic, his friend tagged this pic.... A picture of a couple, her and son together... The wife juz gave birth... I looked st the pic, somehow, they seem so compatible... And I still feel there is a special bond between them... I looked @ the pics we took together, I can't see the so called "special bond" between us...

I still feel that he has feelings for her, juz that those bad past stopped him for doing certain things... But in his heart, he still wish to have her back I guess...

Perhaps our level of understanding is different.... I feel drifted apart...

I cried last night... something happened and I hate myself for not being STRONG and brave .... I really hate myself and wonder why am I such a sore loser...

Now, I am lost in a maze, don't know which way to head... I wonder what will my life be...

I wish I could be a good sister that my sis and my bro will look up to....

I wish I could be a good worker....who my boss will appreciates my what I've contribute to the association.

I wish I could be a better understanding girlfriend, a less trouble maker to him, someone who will be "THE ONE" for him...

But seems like, it isn't working that way....

I am so confused.... I feel that I am not that bubbly Nana anymore...

Wedding vows
"I take you to be my (husband/wife), my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live"

























































(p/s: Will I be THE ONE eventually?????)