Was chatting with Bonx in MSN this morning and he's now working very near my work place!!! Next time jio him for makan lunch.... Yeahz~

Then he was asking about me and son.... I told him nothing special is going on.... And he suddenly popped out that question.... "Did you see him as the Potential?" ...

My answer was, "Sometimes but I think I am not suitable for him. Look at his career, his Masters.....Who am I sia....."

He shoot me back and asked me "U finding a partner or a competitor?"

I got to admit that I am comparing now, that makes me even more self destructive... My low self esteem is coming back again.

And how are we progressing so far? Well, time passes and we are still the same.... Very neutral, no quarrels... nothing special to happy about...

But yesterday, we met up for dinner. We were talking about something and I realized alot of things he said... He seldom said "WE" . . . . We always use the terms "I", "You" etc but not "WE".... When I brought up certain issues yesterday, he never use "WE" but other terms... I am already hinting for something but .... its either he act dunno or he just simply don't know what I am trying to say. Was rather disappointed about it as it is something that I am trying to see if we are progressing in our relationship.

Bonx told me that in a relationship, there should be some ground rules in a relationship if not foundation won't be that stable. Actually we did discuss what we want in lives... When to settle down or what to do in future etc... But.... when we talk about settling down.... we never mention "WE" . . . As in, we never discuss about OUR future plans... we discussed our individual future plans... Sometimes, I wish I could be more initiative and ask things about "Us" .... Our relationship should go a step further and not at the same spot for too long...

As time goes by, if we are at the same spot for too long, feelings will not be that strong anymore... And we will start thinking if we are really "The One" for each other. . . .

Perhaps I am really asking for too much..... I AM REALLY GETTING VERY OLD LIAO LAH! Haha.... Thinking too much stuffs~

I am not rushing and I decide to let things go naturally. If it is meant to be, it will . . . if not... I ... also don't know.

Maybe I should ask him, "Are you regretting now son? Hiak Hiak Hiak....." Scully he said "YES" . . . hahaha...

I know this relationship is not the priority. He has his career and family which I totally respect that. I never interfere his career and family.

But on the other hand, I hope we could have been better....

On a happier note, I was talking to Shundy juz now... She told me her friend just gave birth and she said the opening was only 5cm when the water bag burst.. And then by then giving birth it dilate to 8.5cm... Den I asked her, can the doctor sew back 6cm even if the woman dilated by only 5cm? Hahaha... Waliew, who don't want tighter pussy~ LOL... She was laughing like mad and she said I should post this on the blog... So here I go =) Ms Shundy, you must be laughing till pengz right! But giving birth is a happy issue. No matter its a girl or boy . . . its a new birth and its the most wonderful thing a mother can do.

If I have a girl, I would like my girl's name be Chloe, Faith, Jade, Kristy.... Boy's name I am not so sure about it though.... I would like to have .. maybe 2-3 kids ... the more the merrier but make sure I can afford lahz hahaha.. but 2-3 kids will be good enough lahz. And I wish I can have kids before I turn 30... If not, I will be too old to have kids... So I still got 5 years to go... hahaha.... Let me grab one Angmo man coz I love Eurasian kids heehee...

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