Yesterday I had one weird dream and I swear its damn funny...

I dreamt that I was at Disney Land and Mickey Mouse was proposing to me! Hahaha, he got me a Mickey Mouse shape diamond ring loh!!! Hahahaha.... I was wearing that Minnie Mouse headband which Son got it for me during our HK trip... What a dream loh....

If I marry to Mickey Mouse, I will damn rich loh..... Hahaha...

But, I am so FAT, so ugly, not ambitious.... who will want me leh?

There was someone who told me this before... "I don't want my girlfriend to be so FAT and ugly. You better slim down if not I go find other girl...."

YES, this person is someone I'm with for years and he could said that to me, how heart breaking can it be...

Therefore, I am quite conscious on how i look, though I can't slim down coz i am lazy. I am still FAT FAT and FAT.

In this society, FAT is still an issue. FAT people still being discriminate and FAT = unhealthy.

Who shall I blame? Blame GOD for making me FAT in nature and ugly? Or blame my parents for not making me beautifully?

Ok lah, I blame myself then... For not controlling what I eat... that's why I am so FAT. And my face... I can't help it coz I am born with that face.

Since young, I've been given nicknames like "bui charbo", "si fei zhu", "da xiang"..... I can't wear nice clothes like what my slim girlfriends


Perhaps, it is damn malu to bring me out... coz I am fat and ugly. Imagine you are my boyfriend and you bring me home and show me to your parents and their faces will be like "Wah, why my son's gf so fat and not pretty wan... my son's blind isit!" And maybe when you bring me out to meet your friends, they might have the same sentiments as the parents...

When people say "physical is not an issue, most importantly is internal beauty ..." I think it's bull shit... Physical is always an issue... If not, you can see big fat guys holding a girl who looks like Angelina Jolie or ME holding a guy's hand who looks like Jerry Yan or Wu Zun.

It's like buying something. If the physical part doesn't appeals to you, you won't bother to take a second look or to feel it... Same as human, if the person is not physically appealing, you wouldn't have step forward to know this person better and talk to him/her.

That's a harsh reality so FAT & UGLY people, just face the real fact...

If I got the money, I will do myself perfect. Just like the Korean Movie "200 pounds beauty".... Where I can just suck off my tonnes of fats, sharpen my nose, make my eyes bigger and transform myself to an ULTIMATE BEAUTY! *Stop Dreaming* hahaha...

If there is a contest for Ms FAT & UGLY Singapore, I will win for sure. With my cellulite, my big tummy that I can flip and flop and that turned off face, I will win!

Or I should migrate to South Africa... They love Fat women like us... The fatter the better leh! ahaha.... I often got approached by the blacks... that explains why...

I am not whining but just stating some real facts. And it just happen that my big big boss just sent me this email and he always like to put a quote of the day at the bottom.... And quote of the day for today is "Do not compare yourself with any one in this world. If you do so you are insulting yourself." Well, I guess I am insulting myself now.... duhz

Heng my sister and brother haven "hiam" me FAT yet ... Though my sis always say that I would lose weight .... Heng Coco also never complain that I am fat...

Yes, though I am attached to a guy who don't mind me FAT and UGLY.... but who knows.... he might be closing his eyes when he meet me. . . Haha... But I do feel abit inferior when I am with him. That feeling has been stuck inside me for quite sometime.... I always feel he should be seeing someone better or maybe he is thinking of it now......

Am I worth?